Celebrity Measurements

The man with the hat is back in Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, but is it a fitting swan song?

PLOT: An older Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) finds himself whisked into one last adventure when a Nazi he battled in WW2 seeks a mythical dial called the Antikythera which may have the ability to find fissures in time that could change the outcome of the war.

REVIEW: We should count ourselves lucky that we have three perfect Indiana Jones movies, no matter what happens. Harrison Ford will never be able to take Harrison Ford’s place as one of the greatest characters in history. The fedora-wearing, archeologist character will remain forever iconic. Resurrecting the character for the 21st Century was not easy. Steven Spielberg and George Lucas tried it out with Indiana and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and fans were in a frenzy. Everyone hoped Ford, who was game for one last go-round as the character, would get a fitting send-off with Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, with Logan‘s James Mangold standing in for Spielberg. Unfortunately, it isn’t much better than the previous movie.

Here is the thing: If this was just another adventure film, Indiana and the Dial of Destiny would have been fine. It’s well made and slick but the action is boring and repetitive. It’s the same type of CGI spectacle that you see in every superhero film. Ford is now in his 80s, so it’s not surprising that he’s unable to do things he used to be able to. The action is so bland and cartoonish, you can’t but wish that they would have just left it alone. Or, instead, given James Mangold the freedom he deserves, which he wasn’t allowed here. Ford’s still potent physicality could have been displayed in a more realistic manner if the premise and action had been more grounded.

There are moments in Indiana jones and the dial of destiny that you can see Mangold’s intention. The movie begins with a highly-hyped scene that shows a deaged Harrison Ford fighting Nazis on a railroad — elements of this work. The de-aging is good, but not perfect. The car looks amazing in still photos, but it has a strange look when Ford is moving. This sequence is the only memorable action beat with a pulse, thanks to John Williams’ score, Toby Jones as a likeable sidekick and Thomas Kretschmann as the Nazi Colonel (something that the rest of movie lacks). This sequence is still the only memorable action scene with a pulse. It’s mainly because of John Williams’ score and Toby Jones’ likeable sidekick. Thomas Kretschmann’s Nazi Colonel also adds a real sense of menace (something that the rest of movie lacks). He is facing mandatory retirement and students who find him boring as opposed to those who hung on every word he said in

Raiders Of The Lost Ark. He’s a man in a funk, and his neighbour wakes him up from a drunken nap with The Beatles’ Magical Mystery Tour. This is to Indy’s dismay. Sadly, the film quickly jumps into a series of chases and world-trotting. The film begins to meander and Phoebe Waller Bridge’s character lacks focus despite being a second lead. She is the daughter of Indy’s old sidekick, and unlike Indy she wants to use her wealth to get rich, regardless of the consequences. Her early scenes establishes her as highly suspect, allowing Indy’s murder to be framed by the bad guy and not caring about the slew innocent corpses that they leave behind. This is actually promising because it would have given Indy an anti-hero with whom to team up. It feels like she’s been re-shot to be nicer. She’s better early on, when she’s portrayed as a female Bellocq. Later, she becomes just another sidekick. Another problem is the sidekick kid. The best kid sidekick of the past century is Short-Round in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom . They cloned the character with Ethann Isidore. A streetwise kid, Ethann Isidore flies the plane in the climax like Anakin Skywalker did in the

Phantom Manace

. This is how far off the rails this movie goes. It’s a silly addition to the movie that was probably added in order to attract a young audience, who may not know who Indiana Jones even is. It’s too long. The other Indiana Jones films are all near two hours long and are rollercoaster rides. It has long, boring stretches and feels like it was designed to be watched in chunks via a streaming service despite the big-screen trappings. It’s surprising how bland the villains are. Mads Mikklesen, as Voller, doesn’t get enough screen time and lacks any real menace. Boyd Holbrook, whose been great in other movies, is bland as his henchman (essentially playing the same role he did in Logan), and you don’t even get any super gory deaths, as per the usual Indiana Jones style. Even in Crystal skull , one of the main characters was eaten by red ants. This has a high body count, but the deaths lack any impact.

Meanwhile, guest stars like Antonio Banderas show up in roles so tiny you wonder why they bothered to cast a name like him in the first place. The technical aspect of the film is excellent, with Phedon papamichael attempting to recreate the visual style from Spielberg’s movies. However, the darkness makes it difficult to see the action. I’m not exaggerating to say that the action beats are almost nonexistent. Even Crystal skull had some great action. We laugh at the nuke-the-fridge moment, but it’s still a memorable one. There is very little action in Dial of Destiny which can be described as truly memorable. If it were just a normal movie, it would work fine. But it’s Indiana Jones. It needs to improve. Everyone involved could have made a great Indiana Jones movie, but this film feels like another middle-of the-road would-be-blockbuster. This is one of the worst movies I’ve seen in recent years. They should have ended it with

Last crusade. 5

Entertainment - Media News Watch originally published at Entertainment - Media News Watch